Way back in eighteen ninty-six
I first appeared from out the sticks
To start my travels far and near
And add my bit of Christmas cheer
From G.I. Joe to plain John Q
There's nothing that I cannot do
As golfing champ Ive had my fling
In fact I've been most everything!
From strong man Sandow to strip tease
It's always been my aim to please
A bolshevik, an admiral too
As both of these I've come to you
It almost seems beyond belief
But I was once an Indian Chief
A real American, I am
I once appeared as Uncle Sam
And just to prove that I'm no shirker
I did my bit as a defense worker
I've grace the church across the sea
Archbishop of old Canterbree
And now as just a western cowboy
I'm glad I'm here today..and how, boy!
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